I stopped saying I’m Sorry…

… all the time.

I feel programmed to be apologetic about everything. “Sorry” has lost genuine meaning and fills empty and uncomfortable space. In order to discuss why I am no longer sorry, the word need a working definition. Dictionary.com will suffice:

sorry [sor-ee, sawr-ee]

adjective, sorrier, sorriest.

1.feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.:

to be sorry to leave one’s friends; to be sorry for a remark; to besorry for someone in trouble.

2.regrettable or deplorable; unfortunate; tragic:

a sorry situation; to come to a sorry end.

3.sorrowful, grieved, or sad:

Was she sorry when her brother died?

4.associated with sorrow; suggestive of grief or suffering; melancholy; dismal.

5.wretched, poor, useless, or pitiful:

a sorry horse.
interjection

6.(used as a conventional apology or expression of regret):Sorry, you’re misinformed. Did I bump you? Sorry.

Retrieved from: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/sorry?s=t. April, 2018.

Are you “sorry”?

When I am, in fact, truly sorry (see definitions 1-4), the expression is fitting. Count the number of times you say “sorry” in a day. Are you sorry?

-Did you bump into someone in the hallway by accident?

-Did you bump the table?

-Were you only occupying space and someone else bumped into you and now you’ve said sorry?

-Why? Because it was unfortunate and you feel empathy for the other person’s misfortune, or because you are uttering a nonsensical apology for taking up space?

I know I have said “I’m sorry” when someone needs to move into space I was occupying. For example, you are standing in line waiting (for anything) and move to allow another individual more room. This is bulls***, wait, I am not sorry. Why did I just say it? There is no need to apologize for 1)having mass and 2) showing consideration by moving said mass to make someone more comfortable. It CAN be polite, but I am in no way “sorry”. I have typed “sorry” so many times in this post it has stopped making sense…

The point is, do not use the word in excess and dilute the true meaning just because it is something to say. “Excuse me” works just fine. “Let me move for you” is also acceptable.

“I’m sorry, but I think…”

I have also apologized for having an opinion! “I’m sorry, but I think….” No, no, no. I have yet to figure out if I am more susceptible to this behavior because I am a woman or fitting of some other trait, but I do not like it in myself, and I am working on it. It is ok to disagree. I work in education, and one of the most satisfying parts of my career and its environment is the ability (and the encouragement) to have thoughtful arguments and challenging disagreements. You can grow when you are challenged. Never be sorry for taking a step in another direction. Be thoughtful and be courteous, but do not be sorry.

Make a point to use your words in a powerful way. Take some time to eliminate that knee-jerk “I’m sorry” and turn it into a meaningful expression. Accompany your own use of the word with action.

Be kind. Take Care.

~Eve

 

Eve is a mom, student, daughter, sister, blogger, doer, thinker, and more. Any and all blog content should be viewed as opinion and any sources should be verified prior to using any of these words in that particular order to form your own (opinions). For more, visit: Happy Kotter: Disclaimer. Have a great day!

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