“Consider the daffodil. And while you’re doing that, I’ll be over here, looking through your stuff.” – Jack Handy

Multi-Faceted Personality Dis-Order….

The idiom “wear a hat” is far too simplistic for the inner turmoil associated with adjusting your personality and skillsets throughout the days to fit in various functions. I picture all of my “hats” on my head in some Dr. Seuss-esque fashion, and I am doing everything I can to keep them balanced before they tip over.

It is possible to be loving, funny, humble, ambitious, logical, and kind. For each of your desirable attributes lurks the polar opposite, don’t-get-out-of-bed, conspiracy-theory-loving animal. *Cue the circus music* I have an ambitious and addictive personality. There are times when ideas become so robust that I can spend hours in focus on one single thing. The rest of the hours are a mad dash to pick out the one thing I need to accomplish the task at hand. Does my mom-brain lead, my work-brain, my student-brain, friend-brain, leader, follower, partner, etc.?

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Venn diagram *image for illustration*

Each circle on the Venn diagram represents an area of your being. It is the “hat” you wear. We can name these 3; self, family, and work. Self is where your passion is cultivated. This is the area where you pray, meditate, exercise, eat healthy, and sustain happiness. Family are the people closest to you. Family could even be modified to include  an umbrella for friends where the highest knitting between individuals are family, because sometimes the people we choose become our family. These are the people that are proud to know you whether you follow your dreams or support you because they know your value and want to see you thrive.

Work is what you do. The circle where you earn money, advance knowledge, and develop marketable skills. In the midst of being three separate and defined areas, you begin to find overlap creating four brand new areas including one all-inclusive confluence…..of hats.

I picture each circle as a bubble. The bubbles have the ability to grow and to shrink, but never fully detach from the others. When the bubbles are balanced, the confluence is steady and reliable, a comfortable place to stay. In the middle of self and family, I am a mom.

Stop-&-Prioritize

1)Self

2) Mom

“How can you put your self before your own children? Those sweet angels deserve everything and the whole world and ….”

” How do you pour from an empty cup?” How much time did I spend neglecting my children’s needs because I did not take care of their mom? They get the best of me, not what’s left of me.

Even out your bubbles! A dear friend just asked “What is it that you’re missing”? Take yourself back to that area where you keep passion and drive and ambition. Look at how you are operating every single day and verify that is in line with a goal. Make sure that what you tell yourself energizes you and does not hold you back. Make time for the people that care about you regardless of the return. Own each and every one of your hats. If they fall, there are too many, different sizes. Secure your foundation and build up. Let what you bring in to those overlapping areas feed your soul, not your pocket.

Be gentle. Be selfish. Be balanced.

Eve is a mom, student, daughter, sister, blogger, doer, thinker, and more. Any and all blog content should be viewed as opinion and any sources should be verified prior to using any of these words in that particular order to form your own (opinions). For more, visit: Happy Kotter: Disclaimer. Have a great day!

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My daughter took a photo of me.

There has been a long fought battle between myself and my confidence. I have been a woman every day of my life, and I am aware of the way I look, the way I present myself, and the way I feel about it. The moment I became a mother the desire to set a positive example of esteem, confidence, and self-care skyrocketed. I have not, though, done as well as I imagined. If I was challenged to identify a list of failures, this one takes the cake.

I am soft, I am nurturing, and I am built to do so. There are parts of me that are in direct competition with my perceived intelligence. There are plenty of things I would change. I have practiced positive self talk and I truly believe a lot of the things I tell myself. I tell my children that they are beautiful. I want them to believe every day that their bodies are amazing and capable of incredible things. As they are navigating life, this is their vessel and they should be proud. I do not want them to compare themselves to popular images of the ideal form, and it breaks my heart to think that they could ever question their value based on their appearance. They are beautiful.

I hate my nose. Contouring is an evil blessing. Please do not make me look at a still shot of my profile. Then, my daughter took a photo of me.

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I am in love. Not because it is my face, but because I get to see what she sees. This was taken in a silly moment in a store floral section. My face is an intricate collection of all of the faces before me. My children are influenced by mine. I have absolutely no business modeling a facade of confidence when I still talk openly about my distaste for the shape and structure of my nose. It seems silly.

My challenge, if I dare to create one, is to let someone whose opinion is valuable to you take your picture. See what they see. Look at where the focus lies. Choose not to believe all of the negative things you tell yourself and change the direction of some of that thinking. It is a wonderful surprise.

XO – J. Eve